if i don't go crazy tonight
by andthenshesaid
Summary: Because the story of Finnick Odair and Annie Cresta isn't one of star crossed lovers or childhood friends, just a boy falling in love with a girl, only more complicated than that.


The love story of Finnick Odair and Annie Cresta is an untold one.

It's not the story of star-crossed lovers, of another Romeo and Juliet; it's not a story of Katniss and Peeta. It's not even a story of childhood friends, who shared their first awkward kiss at 11, who remained in love throughout their entire lives. It's not even the story of a hero following in love with a crazy girl.

Because Finnick fell in love with Annie before she was a crazy girl.

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& this is how they know each other.

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Her parents own a restaurant on the beach. It caters to those only rich enough to buy a meal at a restaurant, which makes the family that owns it fairly middle-class. They make enough to send Annie and her younger brother, and even her older brother, before he died in the games last year, to the training grounds on weekends. But usually Annie works at the restaurant.

He comes in every day after his swim, hair dripping, eyes sparkling, always with a little old woman who garbles when she talks. They always order the raspberry muffins, salmon chowder, and the fish of the day. And they always sit at the table in the corner, the one with the knick in the leg.

Every day when they come in, Annie brings them their food, smiled at _the_ Finnick Odair's flirting, because, yeah, at first it had practically made her faint and then rush to tell her friends all about it, but now it's daily routine, a common interaction between the boy everyone knows and the girl who serves him his food.

Sometimes he sees her at the training center and he gives her a nod, and her friends all wink at him and laugh, but it never goes farther than that, and she just accepts it all as life.

He thinks of her as nothing more than a pretty waitress, but he still breathes a sigh of relief every time her name isn't drawn at the reaping.

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& this is how they meet.

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She's wearing a light blue dress with lace at the edges and thin little straps to hold it up. Her hair is down, which it never is, and falls in waves down to her shoulders. She holds the hand of a girl with wild black curls and closes her eyes when they pull out a name.

"Annie Cresta."

She doesn't cry.

A boy is chosen. This one, only 13 or so, called Hugh, but his real name is Julian, is big enough to do some damage, but still sososo young. The mayor reads a speech that seems to take forever

She doesn't cry.

Her parents and her younger brother come to say goodbye, but they both have a resigned look to their eye, because Jonah is already dead to the Games, and she hugs them and brightly promises to be all right, and when a group of girls come in, tears streaking their faces, she still smiles and reassures them.

She doesn't cry.

And then she's introduced to her mentor, _the _Finnick Odair.

And falls down on the floor, crying, hyperventilating, big long sobs that seem to take the life out of her.

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& this is how they fall into something

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He treats her like he would any other person of the female persuasion, with smiles and flirtations and touching, but there's something about her, maybe it's her smile and maybe it's the way she looks in that mermaid get up Lila designed. He doesn't know what it is, but it's definitely more than he feels for the Capitol women with their skin tinted all the colors of the rainbow and their tattoos that move and the way their hands feel like claws.

But he is _the _Finnick Odair, and she is a tribute who's probably going die, even if he doesn't want her too, so he doesn't show it.

But he teaches her about snares and how to use a trident and what plants are good to eat, and he tries harder than he's ever tried in his entire life with the possible exception of his own games, because he wants this one to come out alive.

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& this is how they kiss.

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It's the second day of training and they're riding up on the elevator, with its glass walls that make Annie a little nervous.

He's standing tall and strong and he's saying how he's already gotten her a couple of sponsors, and she knows deep down that she's still going to die, and she thinks that's why she kisses him.

He kisses back because he wants her to live.

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& this is how it might be love

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She's wearing the clothes for the arena, simple black leggings, a dark green tunic, and a grey jacket. He's wearing a suit, because right after this he's going to go to a party and watch the murders of 23 children.

He holds her hand, and she wants to think that maybe this isn't an act, a way to make the dying girl feel better, maybe he actually cares. But then she remembers the "dying" part and decides it doesn't matter. He keeps spitting out last minute things of advice, and promises to help her.

She smiles at him, a sick morbid smile, and tells him that he shouldn't have gotten too attached to the dying girl.

He makes a strangled noise, that almost sounds like he's choking back tears and she lets a couple drip from her eyes too, because she _wants_ to live, she really does.

He tells her that she's not dying and that she'll come out of there alive.

She calls him a liar and the platform moves upwards.

He wipes away the tears-that-shouldn't-be-there and puts on a smile and goes to charm people.

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& this is how her troubles begin

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Annie is part of the Careers. And that's a good thing, because it will help her survive. They're mean and awful, and she often finds Hugh in tears, because as big as he is, he's still only 13.

And then they run into that maniac from District 7.

He's not in the Careers because he didn't want to be. Annie had seen Thad, one of the District One Tributes, ask him and be harshly rebuffed. And the maniac swings that axe and then Thad's hand is gone, and then he swings it and there goes that girls leg and then they're surrounded and suddenly Hugh's head is on the ground next to her and she runs, runs faster than she's ever ran in her entire life and she thinks of her older brother, how he froze to death, and she thinks about Finnick's eyes, and her mother's hugs, and the way her friends make her laugh, and the bread and fish that one of her sponsors sent her that she shared with Hugh, because the others had enough bread of their own and then she's right back to the bloodshed and she just can't think.

There are 5 cannon shots and they hurt her head and then at night there are 5 pictures and all of them, she knows, are missing limbs and its scary_scary_**scary**and she wants to go home now, pretty please.

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& this is how he despairs

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He watches the maniac swing his axe, watches how even Johanna, the winner from last year, flinches when Hugh's head flies off. Annie does more than flinch. She wails and it's the most inhuman sound he's ever heard and he wants to be in there with her, but he's not, and all he can do is watch as she runs through the mountains, her face getting cut by the branches, and her blood mixing with the tears on her face.

The cameras don't focus on her much after that, preferring to watch that District 7 boy's reign of terror.

It's damn hard to get sponsors after that, and he knows Annie must be starving, but with the few shots he's seen of her, he's not sure she knows, because she just seems lost and he worries and he tries, because he promised he was going to get her out of there, but no one wants to send the poor crazy girl bread.

He starts to despise the people in the Capitol.

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& this is how she survives

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She doesn't know how many days it's been and she doesn't know how it happens but suddenly water is coming and coming and it just won't stop.

But she's District 4, and this is water, so she just swims and floats and tries to avoid the floating bodies and weapons and blood that she see's, because some of them are animals and some of them are humans and she just doesn't want to know, but she knows she needs to keep swimming.

The water tastes like blood and tears and salt and its cold and she thinks her legs are going numb, but then it's so hot and salty and she doesn't know what's going on and everything around her is black, except for the tiniest spot of blue-green.

It's the same color as Finnick's eyes.

And sometimes, she doesn't know how long, she doesn't know anything, but she hears screams and stabbing and she can see a fight, and she knows it won't be long until they come for her.

But then both squirming bodies are still and a hovercraft comes to pick her up, and she tries to tell them she's not dead, but then she can't talk anymore and she doesn't know what's going on and who are all these people and she wants to go home and she wants this to never have happened and she wants this to all be a terrible dream.

But it's not.

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& this is how they reunite.

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They've fixed her dehydration, but not her mind, and she still doesn't know what's going on and she wishes they would stop playing clips. They play the last fight, and she can see herself in the background, her sanity floating farther away as every second passes, but the more popular clip is the one where Hugh's head falls to the ground and she wails like people are tearing out her intestines and it makes her cry even harder, and the Capitol people just look at it all from a distance.

And then her stylists grab get a hold of her, putting her in a sparkling dark teal dress that reminds her of water and makes her feel more lost than she already is, and they curl her hair and she doesn't like it and when she cries Lila scolds her for ruining her makeup, and isn't she happy she won, darling?

But then Finn comes in and he sees her crying and he doesn't care about the makeup or anything and she clings to him, and he even comes with her on the interview, and because it's _the_ Finnick Odair no one cares, but she cares, because she's so lost, but he makes it better.

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& this is how they go on.

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She moves into one of the spare victor houses, and the ceremonies are small, because anyone who's not a complete idiot can see she's not the proud sparkling hero that _the _Finnick Odair is.

She likes her house, because it's across from Mags and next to Finn, and she spends half her time at theirs anyway, because hers is filled her family, who obviously had already prepared themselves for a dead child, and have absolutely no idea how to deal with a crazy one.

He likes that she's there, that she's alive. He hates, he absolutely despises the way the Capitol has painted her, because she's not. She was a little bit messed up right after the Games, but she had just seen a 13 year old boy get his head chopped off, and it's not her fault if she freaks out when people play clips of it. And he despises the way they all clap for her, and laugh. He hates the way that sponsors who refused to help her when she was insane in the jungle, cuddle up to him now, and he hates the way he has to pretend to adore it. He hates the way he has to leave her alone, to go to Capitol parties. He hates the way the Capitol gave her the nightmares that make Annie go wild, then nightmares that can make her shake and shiver and scream like someone is chopping off her limbs.

But he loves her.

And she loves him.

So it's all okay.

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_keep in mind, that i'm wrong half the time  
but its not that dark, i saw a spark  
i don't care, i don't care what you do  
because everyone knows you, but no one knows you_

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**whoo! two stories in two days. cos I'm on a roll and all that. **

**the song at the end is from birthday by charlotte parrot, and the title sortakinda comes from the song by U2. **

**thank you SO much for reading and please review!**


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